I was on my way to a meeting with Ilan, Dovi and a few other people when I received a message from Yigal asking me to check something for him. Before joining the meeting, a few minutes too late, I opened my messages for a brief glance. I then entered the meeting noting to myself to get back to Yigal right after the meeting.
Multiple other issues filled my mind after the meeting, causing me to forget Yigal’s message along with a few others I received at that time. Unfortunately, having already been opened, the messages did no longer appear as “a new message” and were pushed down the line, overtaken by the newly arriving messages.
A couple of days later and quite by chance, I suddenly remembered Yigal’s request and, while driving my car, called him to apologize for my late reply. Later, during that same drive, Ilan called me in the middle of a conversation with someone else. However, before I had a chance to return Ilan’s call, I had an incoming call from Dovi which I answered.
What would Ilan think of me not calling him back?
It was already late in the evening when I had a chance to go over my emails. 40 emails waited for me. Some could be immediately deleted, some were FYI and some needed proper replies. I did not reply to all of them. I transferred the unanswered ones to my “to be answered” file, knowing that some of the messages will not be answered soon, and some will never be answered. This was not including the many text massages I received, of which the majority were mere advertising or surveys, but some were important messages from various government bodies, Ali Express delivery notices, and such like.
Social media
Social media such as Facebook and Instagram are inundated with information. Occasionally they may include information regarding a birthday or another joyful event or, God forbid, a death announcement or funeral, which are published by quite a few people these days instead of sending messages through private groups. Not so long ago I randomly came across such a Facebook message posted by a close friend, just in time to attend the Shiva.
Over the last few weeks, I have been, simultaneously, heading several teams on several projects. Each team member expects to be answered quickly even when I am not available when they call. In cases like these, the expectations of the callers are high, and not receiving any acknowledgement for their messages may be interpreted as disrespectful behavior on my part.
Aligning expectations
I believe that most readers of this article are familiar with the scenario I described above, and that you too are flooded with messages from all types of social media. Today’s Smart watches, which allow receiving email messages at all times, enhance the need for immediate response throughout the whole day.
Is this good or bad?
A friend once told me that he was receiving dozens of emails every day. He claimed that there was no way he could read all of them, so he decided to ignore all messages which were not addressed to him directly but to which he was Cc'd.
My friend’s solution is not much different to many other people’s.
So, what is the advantage of using Smart phones or Smartwatches? Would everyone in the future who delays their response be considered impolite or unsociable?
Technology changes the expectations
In the past, as CEO of Shamir Optical Industry Ltd. I participated in an industrialists’ conference which discussed establishing a bridgehead in Europe.
Like myself, a few other CEOs arrived at the Tel Aviv conference from the North Galilee. During one of the sessions, one of the organizers of the conference entered the discussion room passing a note to Mamtirim Dan's CEO informing him that the flight back to Kiryat Shmona had been cancelled due to the stormy weather. Of all the CEOs present in the room, he was the only one to receive the message. There were no cell phones back then and the internet was not readily available for real time updates. So, no one was expecting an immediate response.
Technologies have been developing quickly, but the above occurrence was not rare in the past.
About 20 years later I was teaching a course named Tools to identify root causes at Prof. Gil Luria's faculty of Social Welfare & Health Sciences at Haifa university. The course addressed the subject “why people speak on the phone while driving a vehicle”. The students said that they answer the phone while driving a vehicle because of social pressure.
Four “Why” questions lead us to technological developments.
Question: Why are we influenced by social pressure?
Answer: In order to not be different from other people. Because we are social creatures.
Question: Why does the will to not be different from other people cause us to answer the phone while driving?
Answer: Because if we are "not online" we do not exist.
Question: Why if I do not immediately answer the phone do I not exist?
Answer: Because this is the norm.
Question: Why is this the norm?
Answer: Because technology allows it. Technology creates expectations. The world is rapidly changing.
The students’ solution to the root cause was not to change the norm but to wait for a new technology which would allow sending voice messages while driving.
Technology is changing but what about us?
Technological developments have changed expectations. We are now expected to quickly respond every time. But time has not changed. The more we are inundated with information and the more we are required to respond, the more we feel too loaded and so the less we answer phone calls and respond to messages.
Smart watch technology, which present emails on our wristwatchs, does not respond to messages instead of us, it only increases expectations to respond more quickly.
There are a few ways to deal with this situation:
Delegation of authority
The first tool is to delegate authority. By delegating authority, you will at least be sure that the people reporting to you ask you fewer questions. You will probably experience a substantial reduction in the number of messages you receive and therefore have much more free time to do other things. Do not constantly check every action made on your behalf by the people you have assigned. Trust them. Set them measurable goals.
Awareness
The main tool to deal with the reality in which we are inundated with information
and with requests, is awareness. If we cannot alter our reality, at least be aware of it.
When you receive massages:
- Write yourself reminders or find other ways to remind yourself of those you hadn’t responded to.
- Some massages are more important. Give those priority.
- Answer shortly while remaining polite and courteous.
- If you are not interested to continue the communication, respond in a short message. Remember the feeling of not being replied to.
When you send messages:
- Remember how you yourself act when you receive a message.
- If you do not receive a response, it does not mean that you are being ignored.
- Resend the message until you receive a reply. Not receiving any response is seldomly a sign of being ignored. In most cases the person who receives your message is as busy as you are, does not reply immediately, forgets about it later or hadn’t even seen your message.
- When you send someone a message with attachments for the first time, the attachments may very often be blocked by the system as “suspicious content”. In cases like this I very often call the person on the phone prior to sending the email and inform them that a message will follow. I then send a short message aiming at the system verification of my address. After receiving a reply to my short message, the system will no longer block my future attachments.
- Respectful of other people, I very rarely phone a person without prior coordination through WhatsApp or other messaging apps. This is accepted behavior these days. But if I have no choice, I make a phone call.
Summary and recommendations
We are inundated with information, reports, requests, questions, and other messages which require our immediate attention.
The more developed the technology, the faster we are expected to respond. The sender may interpret our failure to respond as disrespectful behavior.
We may miss business opportunities because we overlook messages or because the sender prefers someone who responds faster than us and therefore seems to be more readily available.
The information sent to us may be valuable for understanding our business environment and identifying new business trends and developments.
I recommend delegating authority which will reduce the number of messages sent to you; to reduce the number of massages you miss; and to set reminders to respond to unanswered messages still waiting for a response. When you are the one who sends messages, remember that the person you are contacting is a busy person too and may have just missed your message. Don’t hurry to conclude that you are being ignored. Send your message again at acceptable intervals.
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